Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
