If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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