I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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