My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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