her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
