You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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