you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I supernannyed him into submission
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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