you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
