Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
