ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
