theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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