Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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