oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
