went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
