Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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