Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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