return my video game
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
