The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
