absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize