btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
