Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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