operation harelip BJ is a go
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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