they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize
