He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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