i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
