So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
