I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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