OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
