Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
