I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
