Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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