When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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