Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
