Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
