can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
