my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
