I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
either way he was missing a nipple.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
