Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
