I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
