You're completely useless in the revolution.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
