i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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