The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize