We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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