you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
