Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
