Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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