Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
People in love make me want to vomit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
