Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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