We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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