After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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