6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
