I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
