So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i've created a new STD.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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