dude i'm inner monologue high
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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