he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
