Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
