would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
