i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
