if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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