Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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