i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
