Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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