Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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