they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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