Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
