Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize