she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
