you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
