Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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