Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
