i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
