I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
